This Week in Aurebesh

I’d originally hoped to release this installment of Pets of the Old Republic earlier in the month, but it seems the curse of bad luck associated with the number thirteen meant I would miss both the theatrical re-release of Revenge of the Sith and the faux-holiday Revenge of the 5th (and 6th!). Regardless, I want to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of Episode 3 with a portrait of the Majestic Varactyl pet. Varactyls saw their first appearance in that movie and have established their spot among the iconic creatures of Star Wars lore.

The first Varactyl we meet is named Boga and was ridden by Obi-Wan Kenobi on the planet Utapau during his confrontation with the Separatist leader General Grievous. Varactyls, natives of Utapau are described as “reptavian”, indicating that they share traits with reptiles and birds. Given that we now know that birds are the closest living relatives to dinosaurs, and that many dinosaurs are thought to have feathers, the term “reptavian” seems to me to imply a distinction without difference. Still, it’s a colorful bit of sci-fi nonsense jargon.

General Kenobi and Boga the Varactyl in Revenge of the Sith.

Varactyls were inspired by a drawing of a Stormtrooper riding a lizard-like mount by the legendary comic artist Al Williamson who is best known to Star Wars fans as the artist of comic book adaptations of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, as well as the Star Wars newspaper comic strips from that era. George Lucas was a long time fan of Williamson and asked the concept artists at ILM to create a mount for the Jedi to ride in Episode III. ILM artists iterated on Williamson’s lizard adding inspiration from iguanas and the addition of a feathered mane to create a creature that would come to life on screen as Obi Wan’s Varactyl.

Illustration by Al Williamson of a lizard mount which inspired the Varactyl.

Aside from its glittering scaled skin and colorful plumage, Varactyls are perhaps best well known for their distinct roar. As with other creature’s vocalizations across Star Wars, the call of the Varactyl was created by combining the sounds of several very different types of creatures, in this case a dolphin, coyote, dog and tasmanian devil. It’s quite the hodgepodge, but the result strikes that perfect balance of strange and alien, but still familiar enough to feel real.

Varactyl concept art by Derek Thompson for Revenge of the Sith.

Players of Star Wars: The Old Republic will encounter Varactyls in the wild on the worlds of Taris and Belsavis, but there are also several available as mounts and four tiny pet versions including the subject of this post, the purple Majestic Varactyl. In addition to this one, pet collectors can also acquire the green Grand Varactyl, the blue Glittering Varactyl and the sickly, featherless Juvenile Experimental Varactyl, a product of Valkorion’s nightmarish experimentation on Nathema.

In general, I want this project to spotlight pets which can be collected by players by playing the game, but all of the Varactyl pets come from the market or from the other players via the Galactic Trade Network, SWTOR’s auction house. Since pets tend to be more affordable on the GTN that other Cartel Market goods, I hope you’ll forgive me when I do feature pets, such as the Varactyl that loom large in Star Wars lore or have distinctive and unique appearances in SWTOR.

Varacytl mounts: Infected Varactyl, Grassland Varactyl, Irradiated Varactyl mounts, alongside a Majestic Varactyl pet.

Therefore, let me also highlight three Varactyl mounts that can be acquired outside of the Cartel Market. Two of these can be purchased with credits and Cartel Market Certificates from the Underworld Exchange vendors in the Cartel Bazaar section of both Fleets. Cartel Certificates can be collected by players as daily log-in rewards and from the Nar Shaddaa Nightlife event, which will be returning again this summer. My favorite Varactyl mount, however, is the Infected Varactyl which players can purchase from Jeevlic, the special Rakghoul Resurgance reputation vendor. This is easily one of the spookiest mounts in the game and an appropriate for any power-mad Force walking Inquisitor.

This seems like the best day of the year to discuss why man’s best friend has been absent from my Pets of the Old Republic project and why the subjects of today’s post are in no way actually pets: Sam & Max!

Sam & Max: Freelance Police is a nearly four decade old multi-media franchise featuring the madcap stories of Sam, an anthropomorphic dog in a fedora and suit, and Max, his “hyperkinetic, three-foot rabbity thing” partner. Their surreal and truly bizarre adventures span comic books, comic strips, video-games and even an animated television show. “But what does this have to do with Star Wars?” I can hear you asking. Excellent question!

Sam & Max comic strip from The Adventurer newsletter.

Sam & Max’s creator is Steve Purcell who began working as an animator and artist during the early days of LucasArt shortly after Sam & Max made their comic book debut. While working at LucasArts, Purcell drew a series of Sam & Max comic strips for The Adventurer, LucasArt’s quarterly newsletter. These strips featured Sam & Max parodying the genres of LucasArt’s games, including Star Wars. Max himself made some cameo appearances in several LucasArts games. I still recall discovering the secret Max shaped cave in the first Dark Forces, and in Jedi Knight: Dark Forces 2 players can fight alongside or even against Max himself. The duo were so popular that they headlined their own Lucasart’s video game, Sam and Max Hit the Road.

Max’s cameo in the first Dark Forces game.

Max’s appearances in Dark Forces have firmly entrenched him in Star Wars lore, and, therefore, according to the transitive property Sam must also be canonical, and thus is fair game for coverage in this series.

Sam & Max by Steve Purcell.

The image i used for this portrait was drawn by Steve Purcell and comes from my collection of Star Wars themed artwork. I did color and crudely edit the image for this post, so I thought I ought to also present the illustration by Purcell in its original form.

Let Slip the Dogs of Star Wars

“Ok, Sam & Max in Star Wars, I’ll allow it, but why focus on them?” It seems like a reasonable question, but here’s the thing: there are no dogs in Star Wars.

“Wait. What? That can’t be right.” I am exaggerating, but not by too much. There are scattered references to dogs in assorted stories, And certainly there are Akk Dogs, Kath Hounds, and Loth Wolves and more. There are no shortage of creatures in Star Wars that are referred to as dogs, but very few, I’d argue, have the traits of what we’d recognize as dogs: floppy ears, wagging tails, wet noses and fuzzy bellies. Akk Dogs are little dinosaurs, Kath Hounds look more like mountain goats, Loth Wolves are wolves, Vulptices and Vupltillas are foxes. Maybe I’m splitting hairs but there are animals in the lore that we would immediately view as cats, birds, fish and puffins. Heck, ducks are canon! So where are the dogs?

Canine Aliens: Chewbacca, Barada and Pirate Captain Brutus.

“WAITAMINUTE! What about Chewbacca?” Excellent point! Chewie is one of the most beloved characters in all of Star Wars and was indeed inspired by George Lucas’ pet dog, Indiana. And that causes this flight of fancy I’m on to veer into interesting territory. When we do encounter creatures coded as dogs, they are most often intelligent. In researching this topic, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two possibilities. First Star Wars is “space fantasy”, and dogs are just too familiar and mundane, so dog-like creatures in this setting tend towards the alien and weird. That’s why Akk Dogs are lizards and Corellian Hounds are creepy, hairless monsters.

“We named the dog Indiana.”

But perhaps it’s just down to the fact that George Lucas is a dog person. When we think about our pets, it is not uncommon to consider them members of the family and to some degree even project personhood onto them. Across Star Wars lore, there are feline and avian, frog-like and fish-like aliens, but none loom quite so large as the mighty Chewbacca.

There is another final avenue of dog-lore in Star Wars worth mentioning: robot-dogs. Astromechs like Artoo-Detoo and Beebee-Ate are often treated like dogs by their owners, and they very often show the same loyalty of a good dog. There are also models of droids with the shape of an actual dog, which suggests to me that maybe dogs do actually exist somewhere in Star Wars, but we just haven’t seen them yet.

“Don’t listen to him. We’re dogs too.”

The droid players of Star Wars: The Old Republic will most recognize as canine is the Basilisk Prototype Droid Companion B3-S1, aka “Bessie,” the object of the games first “Venture.” After several months of casual play, I recently completed all the stages to fully unlock Bessie myself. Throughout Legacy of the Sith, I’ve largely taken a break from daily areas, and I took the excuse of training Bessie to revisit the quest hubs I’ve literally avoided for years. It was interesting to reacquaint myself with the Black Hole and Section-X again! The long process of completing the Venture was punctuated with fun interactions with Lane Vizla and HK-24. Ultimately, Bessie is just another companion, but her appearance is absolutely distinctive and I’m glad that I can take my very good girl out for walks and adventures now.

Nevertheless, as a companion, Bessie simply does not count as a pet, so I have to place her alongside Chewbacca in the taxonomy of Star Wars dogs. I do think there should be room in the game for a proper tiny Basilisk Prototype puppy, and I’m a little surprised we haven’t seen one in SWTOR yet.

March comes in like a Pritarr and goes out like a Nerf! I couldn’t quite think of a pet from Star Wars: The Old Republic that was truly like a lamb, but I do think nerfs are an acceptable choice for me to illustrate to celebrate the official start of Spring.

Across Star Wars lore Nerfs are traditionally depicted as domesticated farm animals raised for their meat and leathery hides. Since they are native to Alderaan, they are unable to appear on screen in the movies, but they are most famously referenced by Princess Leia as part of a string of insults aimed at Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back.

Nerfs are suggested to be analogous to cows very early in the “Expanded Universe,” and that designation has remained throughout the decades of Star Wars lore. Not all nerfs died on Alderaan; their hardiness allowed them to adapt to different planets and ecologies around the galaxy. Players of SWTOR, of course, can visit them on their homeworld of Alderaan and they are a common sight on the grasslands of the world.

In a the very crowded cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo proves he actually isn’t much of a nerf herder.

SWTOR’s depiction of nerfs is consistent with how they are seen in other Star Wars stories, and players can interact with and even occasionally battle nerfs on Alderaan. Nerfs are also associated with the Spring Abundance Festival on Dantooine. During this event, players are tasked with caring for and healing three sick and injured young animals from across the galaxy, including a tiny nerf calf which is stricken with Nerf-Pox. I do suggest handling this task with care since Nerf-Pox is known to also afflict humans. Make sure you have all your shots!

An Opal Vulptilla herds the Arctic Nerf Calf, the Nightlands Nerf Calf and the Hill Nerf Calf in front of the Art: Nerf decoration awarded from SWTOR‘s “…Who’s Scruffy Looking?” Achievement.

The Hill Nerf Calf, which is the subject of this post, can be found by players who pursue the secret Nerf Herder achievement which has our characters learn hidden lore about nerfs and unlock them as pets. Indeed, the only nerf pets available to players come from this exploration achievement. I’ve often referred to the Nerf Herding achievement as my favorite in the game, so much so that I wrote a guide helping players discover it for themselves. In addition to the three nerf pets, players can earn paintings of a nerf to hang in their strongholds and also unlock the absolutely essential “Nerf Herder” title for their characters.

I do want to take a moment to explore the name “nerf.” That nerfs would eventually be explained to be space-cows was hardly surprising and consistent with the notion that they should be creatures that need to be herded. That said, as a kid who grew up during the time of the first movies, the word “nerf” was most strongly associated with “the world’s first official indoor ball.” Nerf balls and footballs are soft-foam balls that excitable children, like myself, could throw around without fear of causing property damage. Cheap, disposable and compact, Nerf balls were common sights around the playgrounds, backyards, swimming pools and camping trips of my youth.

I would be shocked to learn that Leia’s line in The Empire Strikes Back intentionally referenced a Nerf Ball, but calling someone a “Nerf Herder” always struck me as funny, not because I thought Leia was calling Han a hick farmer, but because it seemed to me that she was saying that the only task up to his speed was wrangling harmless, soft foam toys with which even the smallest child could be trusted. It’s a job so easy, even Han Solo can’t screw it up.

For obvious reasons, this could not be official, but it always seemed to me to be the best explanation.

Addendum: Over on Bluesky, Cody Menzies reminded me that MMO-RPG players will be most familiar with the word “nerf” as the term for what happens when the developers weaken or “rebalance” certain classes or abilities. No one likes it when their favorite character suddenly hits with the force of Nerf ball, hence the origin of the term. Now, if my attacks landed on my enemies like full grown Alderaanian nerf dropped from a great height, I certainly would not complain!

Up Next: Man’s best friend?

Lucky number seven in my Pets of the Old Republic series is the Akk Dog. Akk Dogs go back a long way in Star Wars lore and are represented in SWTOR with several varieties of pets, an Akk Dog companion and in the wild as creatures to fight. Akk Dogs are known for their lizard-like appearance and jagged and hardened carapace. In the Star Wars universe, Akk Dogs are classified as “reptomammals” which perhaps means they have more in common with armadillos than dinosaurs. Akk Dogs are native to the planet Haruun Kai, the homeworld of Mace Windu, one of Star Wars‘ most famous Jedi Masters. Like Windu, Akk Dogs are thought to be Force Sensitive, but attempts to test their degree of skill with the Force often end badly for any curious researchers.

The particular Akk Dog I’ve drawn is a breed known in the native language of Haruun Kai as “Lawgriffarl.” has distinctive deep blue eyes and a steel blue hide. It can be acquired by players of both factions in the Combat section of their Fleet hubs for the cost of 50,000 credits. However, characters wishing to adopt this armored puppy must also acquire Valor Rank 23. Those wishing to reach that level will need to commit to a modest amount of PVP, but Valor 23 can be earned with a couple weeks of casual matches.

Akk Dog pets: front row: Hagnoffarl, Lawgriffarl, Gannifari; back row: Ember Akk Dog, Painted Akk Dog.

If you’d prefer to skip PVP, there are other varieties of Akk Dogs available. Two of these, the Painted Akk Dog and fiery Ember Akk Dog can be found on the Cartel Market and sold by your fellow players on the Galactic Trade Network. The Gannifari Akk Dog pet was awarded to players who took advantage of SWTOR’s first round of server mergers in 2012 and is no longer available to new players. The other, the Hagnoffarl, which was originally acquired during the Chevin Grand Acquisitions Race, also in 2012, but these days this gray Akk Dog is now randomly dropped by mobs out in the game world, so it cannot be reliably farmed. Finally, players looking for a sturdier Akk Dog can also find one as a creature companion, again from the Cartel Market or the GTN. When I started this series, Akk Dog were one of the most popular suggestions and I selected the one that players can earn on their own without having to spend Cartel Coins or credits or without having to hope for a lucky drop.

An Akk Wolf with an Akk Dog in the background in the swamps of the Minboosa district on Nal Hutta.

Players will, of course, also battle Akk Dogs in the course of their adventures around the galaxy. While they appear in the Colicoid Games flashpoint and the Xenoanalyst operation, they are most commonly found on Hutta. A larger, wilder, saber-toothed cousin called the Akk Wolf also stalks the swamps of the Jigunna and Minboosa Districts.

The Akk Dog as depicted in 2010 in the book The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force.

Akk Dogs first appear in Star Wars lore in the prequel era comics of the early 2000s, and their depiction has varied widely over the course of their appearances. On the cover of the comic in which the Akk Dog debuts, they seem more insectoid than lizard-like. Over the course of subsequent appearances, they were drawn to be more like a combination of a Komodo Dragon and an armored dinosaur, with long, serpentine bodies. Over time, their appearance has evolved to be more in line with what we see in SWTOR with shorter, stouter bodies and an emphasis on their armor-like hide.

Top: The Bullete as it appeared in the 1977 Advanced Dungeons and Dragons: Monster Manual. Bottom: The modern interpretation of the Bulette.

I don’t know if it is intentional, but it seems to me that many common depictions of Akk Dogs bear a striking similarity to one of Dungeons and Dragons’ iconic monsters: the Bulette, a large armored, dinosaur-like creature nicknamed the “Landshark”. The development of many of the original D&D monsters in the 1970’s is weird and fascinating, (and worth discovering for yourself), but outside the scope of this article. Suffice it to say that the Bulette was inspired by Chinese-made, cheap, plastic bootleg toys based on “Kaiju” from Japanese giant monster shows of the 1960s like Ultraman.

Top: A “Patchisaur” miniature toy; Bottom: Two Kaiju from the Japanese TV show Ultraman that may have inspired the toy.

While the connection might be tenuous, you can’t deny that a weird, decades old plastic toy from a dollar store could be confused for an Akk Dog. That fierce, little dino-pup that accompanies you on your adventures across the Star Wars galaxy might very well be a distant cousin to the Zillo Beast or even Godzilla himself. So toss your loyal doggo an extra bone to keep it happy, but be careful because you never know just how big it will grow up to be!